Beyond frustration: "If our oceans die, we die"

My weakest characteristic is my compassion...I love life, I love embracing the beauty God created around me, I pride myself on being an activist, an environmentalist, a recycler, a maintainer of our beautiful planet, a dreamer of goodness and a believer in change...but there are moments when my compassion brings me to my knees with sadness.

Recently, I watched an episode of Whale Wars and was just awestruck at how ruthless these Japanese "Research" whaling ships are. They do not care about our wildlife, they outright shoot a beautiful whale in his head and pull him onboard to cut this poor, precious, amazing animal up into tiny pieces. They call this research?!?!?! By this point, tears are streaming down my face trying to comprehend how anyone can do this, they have no soul, no compassion, no sympathy whatsoever. My sadness and shock quickly turns to utter rage. I quickly looked up the website for this so-called "research organization" and wrote them a very raw, blunt email expressing my feelings. Unfortunately, this email will probably be discarded and never read. The lyrics written by William Corgan in the band, Smashing Pumpkins resonates in my mind..."Despite all my rage I am still just a rat in a cage." I feel helpless.

What do we do when we come to points like this in life? It's times like these I feel incredibly helpless...what can I do to help?? I joke with my husband that if I hadn't met him I would've joined the Whale Wars ship and fought for the lives of whales in Antarctica. But now that I'm married, my heart is torn trying to make a difference in this world. I never feel like I am doing enough. Luckily, I do have a wonderful, supportive, unconditional husband who, during times such as this, he reminds me that I impact everyone around me...every time I choose to recycle, use reusable water bottles instead of purchasing dangerous plastic ones, give back to the community, shop at our local farmer's market, volunteer, donate to charity...I teach those around me to follow suit. Hearing this helps a bit...but my giving heart never feels as if I am doing enough.

On the bright side it seems after six years that the Sea Shepherd and Paul Watson's crew has finally made some progress on ending whaling in Antarctica. After their sixth voyage the Japanese Whaling Ship decided to cut their trip short, complaining that the Sea Shepherd was putting their workers at risk. FINALLY! The Japanese Whaling quota was not met...which means whales were spared. In the gloomy darkness there is always a gleam of hope.

Recently I discovered a new search engine, www.goodsearch.com which works better than any other and will donate money to your charity of choice just by simply doing research! This is the best part of being human, we have the ability to give back to our community, to create change, to make a difference in this world. Join me in vowing to change this planet for the better, to help preserve this Garden of Eden for our future children and grand-children...before it's too late.

xo Lo

Reminders From the Past

I was patiently waiting in line at the DMV office to change my license, (I recently got married), the line was wrapped around the building and there were murmurs saying it would be at least two hours. Thankfully, I didn't have anything else pressing that I needed to do so I came armed with water, a snack, my iPhone and a book.

I was minding my own business playing Words with Friends on my phone when a young couple came and stood behind me in line. I peeked over my phone to see they were both relatively attractive and definitely just graduated high school. I went on to playing my games when they began to converse. I was informed that they were dating and heard the muscle-head boy say, "Yeah we should probably tell as little people as possible, you know just to be safe." The sweet, naive girl responded, "Why can't we tell people we're dating?" My attention to this couple would go in and out but as I'm randomly listening I begin to realize this couple is to my past. It was like looking into a mirror at myself almost 10 years ago with my ex-boyfriend. Oh the things I wish I could tell that innocent, benefit-of-the-doubt, pathetic, sweet, too-forgiving person I was. This pretty girl standing behind me...is me. Instantly, my mind traces back to some of the things my ex used to say to me, they were never flat out mean more like selfish. From the outside we looked like a great couple but on the inside he was only with me to satisfy his own selfish needs and when I couldn't meet those he gladly disappeared.

By this time I had sat in line for about 20 minutes and I hear the boy start to complain that he's wasting his time, there are better things he could be doing and he wants to leave. The girl begins to try to convince him to stay there with her because this is the only time she can renew her driver's license. But the cocky boy doesn't care, what is this doing for him...nothing. I am almost smiling with this realization that their relationship mirrors my relationship with my ex. And then I quickly start to wince when I realize how pathetic, insecure and sad I must have looked to all the people around me. Then the situation becomes even more surreal when I hear the girl say his name, wow the exact same name as my ex. At this point I'm wondering is God trying to tell me something, showing me how much I've grown from that meek girl who couldn't stand up for herself? Maybe.

The next thing I want to do is pull this girl aside and tell her to break up with him, even if she loves him she'll be so much happier with herself. Why do girls feel so desperate to stay with a guy who treats her like crap, who acts like there are better people to hang out with, like she is the lucky one to be with him? Meeting my husband now was the best thing that ever happened to me, he was the first guy to show me what genuine, unconditional, supportive love was.

Another 30 minutes pass and I panic thinking I may not have enough cash to get my new license. I try to look up the cost and realize it is going to be $25 and I only have $20. I have been in this line for over an hour, I can't leave now. So I politely turn around and ask the young couple if I can borrow $5 and pay them back after we leave from the ATM across the street. The boy looks for money in his wallet and the girl immediately offers me a $5 and not to worry about paying her back. The boy is very nice to me which rings even more bells because that is exactly what 'he' used to do to, especially to other, random women. I appreciatively take the money and feel a sense of relief that I'll have enough.

It turns out the renewal was only $11 so I was able to return the unselfishly given $5 back to the sweet girl. After 2 1/2 hours of waiting I got my new license and made my way back to my car. As I drove away I said a little prayer thanking the Lord for guiding me in the right direction and even though it took 8 years for me to realize what a horrible, selfish person that was, the important part is I realized it. I left and I started a life of my own and six months later I met what would be my husband, best friend, partner in crime, my person.

So all you women out there who EVER second guess your relationship, don't think another thought, leave him. If he doesn't make you feel like a magnificent person, who truly cares about your well-being, supports your dreams and makes you laugh...if there are ANY red flags, you need to leave. It'll be hard and you will be lonely but eventually you'll realize that is the best decision you ever made for yourself and your future.

There's a fire starting in my heart

Everyday I walk around with an open-mind (well I try) to understand people. Some days I am a big fan of people, other days I want to crawl under my covers and wait out for the day to end. It's amazing to me that with all the technology, knowledge, creativity, versatility and hardwork that we have obtained since America was inhabited we are still having issues with easily avoidable problems. Like obesity, allergies, teen pregnancy, pollution, starvation. With all the people who have millions or billions of dollars, why do we have countries who can't even drink fresh water? Or sleep on a bed?

America is supposed to be the land of the free, the place where for centuries people sold everything they owned to travel across the Atlantic Ocean to take part in this "free" country. The place where our forefathers took pride in the land we created. The new start to a new way of living, a healthful, happy, free way of life. What has happened now? Are we free? After watching the eye-opening documentaries Food, Inc. and Tapped. I certainly did not feel free. I felt deceived, I felt suffocated, I felt enraged that our government was allowed to hide valuable information from us.

 So that beef you cooked last night...did you know it was not only doped up on hormones, covered in feces and lived a miserable life but was then slaughtered and thrown into ammonia to avoid E. Coli? But the FDA does not feel it is necessary to tell you that information. Hm...does that bother anyone? So if they aren't telling us that they are throwing a chemical we keep locked away from our children under the sink into our food...what else do you think they are hiding? If we do not stand up and fight for our rights as free Americans our country is quickly going to become a socialist, totalitarian country where we have no rights. They'll brainwash us into thinking everything is right but it will not be...anyone remember reading 1984 in school? If we do not encourage each other to speak up against this idiocracy we will lose this war.

A fire has certainly started in my heart. Hopefully after reading this one has started in yours. Write your mayor, your congressman, your state representative...demand healthy food in schools, demand to know what is being put into our food, demand against hormones or abusing animals and abusing the people who work in the meat-packing companies. Demand justice. Demand the truth.

Looking For a New Direction

Living in North Texas is certainly an eye-opener if you are committed to living a healthy lifestyle that does not include diet sodas, energy wasting, tree-killing and gossiping tactics. I swear every time I walk through the workroom someone else has left the bathroom light on...clearly a lazy move. The lunch breaks consist of constant speak of my co-workers children, about all the commercial-chain restaurants they ate at over the weekend or all the money-wasting they've done.

It's days like these when I sit back and ask myself...am I the only one who gives a shit? Our planet is dying, our children are becoming more allergic, our parents are developing diseases XYZ and has anyone changed their lifestyle? Nope.

So my fiance and I have started exploring options to teach and live over seas. Apparently, Sweden is one of the number one places to live a healthful, better quality life. That is certainly what we are in search for. Life is so precious and there are millions of opportunities...I just cannot see myself living in these flat plains where the wind nearly knocks me off my feet every time I step out the door onto a crumbled water bottle...THERE MUST BE MORE OUT THERE! If you are reading this, I inspire you to do what you want not what you feel like you have to do. Life is too short!