Reminders From the Past

I was patiently waiting in line at the DMV office to change my license, (I recently got married), the line was wrapped around the building and there were murmurs saying it would be at least two hours. Thankfully, I didn't have anything else pressing that I needed to do so I came armed with water, a snack, my iPhone and a book.

I was minding my own business playing Words with Friends on my phone when a young couple came and stood behind me in line. I peeked over my phone to see they were both relatively attractive and definitely just graduated high school. I went on to playing my games when they began to converse. I was informed that they were dating and heard the muscle-head boy say, "Yeah we should probably tell as little people as possible, you know just to be safe." The sweet, naive girl responded, "Why can't we tell people we're dating?" My attention to this couple would go in and out but as I'm randomly listening I begin to realize this couple is to my past. It was like looking into a mirror at myself almost 10 years ago with my ex-boyfriend. Oh the things I wish I could tell that innocent, benefit-of-the-doubt, pathetic, sweet, too-forgiving person I was. This pretty girl standing behind me...is me. Instantly, my mind traces back to some of the things my ex used to say to me, they were never flat out mean more like selfish. From the outside we looked like a great couple but on the inside he was only with me to satisfy his own selfish needs and when I couldn't meet those he gladly disappeared.

By this time I had sat in line for about 20 minutes and I hear the boy start to complain that he's wasting his time, there are better things he could be doing and he wants to leave. The girl begins to try to convince him to stay there with her because this is the only time she can renew her driver's license. But the cocky boy doesn't care, what is this doing for him...nothing. I am almost smiling with this realization that their relationship mirrors my relationship with my ex. And then I quickly start to wince when I realize how pathetic, insecure and sad I must have looked to all the people around me. Then the situation becomes even more surreal when I hear the girl say his name, wow the exact same name as my ex. At this point I'm wondering is God trying to tell me something, showing me how much I've grown from that meek girl who couldn't stand up for herself? Maybe.

The next thing I want to do is pull this girl aside and tell her to break up with him, even if she loves him she'll be so much happier with herself. Why do girls feel so desperate to stay with a guy who treats her like crap, who acts like there are better people to hang out with, like she is the lucky one to be with him? Meeting my husband now was the best thing that ever happened to me, he was the first guy to show me what genuine, unconditional, supportive love was.

Another 30 minutes pass and I panic thinking I may not have enough cash to get my new license. I try to look up the cost and realize it is going to be $25 and I only have $20. I have been in this line for over an hour, I can't leave now. So I politely turn around and ask the young couple if I can borrow $5 and pay them back after we leave from the ATM across the street. The boy looks for money in his wallet and the girl immediately offers me a $5 and not to worry about paying her back. The boy is very nice to me which rings even more bells because that is exactly what 'he' used to do to, especially to other, random women. I appreciatively take the money and feel a sense of relief that I'll have enough.

It turns out the renewal was only $11 so I was able to return the unselfishly given $5 back to the sweet girl. After 2 1/2 hours of waiting I got my new license and made my way back to my car. As I drove away I said a little prayer thanking the Lord for guiding me in the right direction and even though it took 8 years for me to realize what a horrible, selfish person that was, the important part is I realized it. I left and I started a life of my own and six months later I met what would be my husband, best friend, partner in crime, my person.

So all you women out there who EVER second guess your relationship, don't think another thought, leave him. If he doesn't make you feel like a magnificent person, who truly cares about your well-being, supports your dreams and makes you laugh...if there are ANY red flags, you need to leave. It'll be hard and you will be lonely but eventually you'll realize that is the best decision you ever made for yourself and your future.